Usually, most postings only show the perfect prism of our lives, or only share things that go well. After a week of reflection, I’ve decided to talk about a dream of mine that didn’t quite work out to hopefully inspire at least one person to try something new no matter what. At the Air Force Academy there is an AM-490 course that is the only certified jump program in the world where students make their first free fall jump, solo, without assistance. Each year, over 700 cadets take the AM-490 course, “Stand In The Door”, and earn their jump wings after five successful sorties. After two years of working, asking, emailing, and asking again, I was finally added to a class to begin the training. Interestingly though, I would not have a guarantee to actually jump out of the airplane. Unlike Cadets here, I would have to be approved at AETC headquarters on another base.
Honestly, I’ve not had to learn a new skill in over ten years, and a half a semester course condensed down into one week starting with the sunrise and going all day was fatiguing as any of my previous 12 hour flightline shift plus 4 hour holdovers. Secondly, the amount of boldface procedures requiring absolute perfection under stressful testing hanging in a harness being spun, is nothing to be casual about. The first evaluation I did not pass because of using incorrect terms and performing incorrect required emergency actions. A second attempt of the first evaluation also was not successful, and was my first rude awakening in a long time that being the best in previous jobs and abilities does not translate to the present. That night, I drove home knowing my final attempt, at the first evaluation, the next morning required extra effort on my part. Heather, for hours, read off the emergencies as I stood and worked my way over and over through performing the emergency actions along with the verbal calls. The next morning, my first evaluation was a hard fought success, and I moved on to the more difficult second evaluation with a new respect of this course. However, that respect does not drive automatic results, and I took two attempts on the second evaluation for a ground school pass.
Highs and lows. Unfortunately, waiting on the authorizations to be signed for the actual jump wouldn’t come in time for me to get on an airplane with the Cadets I trained with. Coming in early every morning to do the daily pre jump refresher course with the following class of new Cadets was a frustrating process to then find out I didn’t have an authorization. The instructors not hopeful it would be any time soon figured I should stop showing up every day for no reason, and they would call me whenever that message would come in. Of course, the bitch was, the delay would cause me to have to retake the second demanding evaluation for recurrency. That’s ok. I had passed it once, and could do that again with Heather’s help.
Jump day. The authorization orders finally arrived, I passed recurrency, and it was time to go for an airplane ride. For all the thousands of aircraft takeoff and landings I’ve ridden through, the numbers of airplane landings will be less by one, and will never match again. Interesting thought I had waiting for my turn. I wasn’t nervous standing in the door, and firmly believed the robust training would deliver a positive free fall experience. When Mike Tyson was asked by a reporter whether he was worried about Evander Holyfield and his fight plan he answered; “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” Letting go of the aircraft, I did not correctly move my arms down to the sides, causing me to flip in free fall. When I re arched to get out of the flip, I saw the ground instead of the sky. “Uh oh.” The second flip around had me now concerned. “Arch!” I was then oriented the correct direction belly down. “Arch. Look. Pull. Check.” Full relief with a good big blue canopy above me. The controllability of all functions checked out perfect, and I had a wonderful 4500 foot ride down. Only nagging thing in my mind was the debrief was going to be ugly, but that’s why we do it. Q3, but retrained, requalified, and I was ready to go back up again. Unfortunately, while I was waiting in my next parachute for a plane ride, the winds went out of limits. Thankfully while a Cadet was unhurt, she ended up hanging in a tree off the drop zone. That’s enough for the day, and we’ll all try again the next Monday.
Jump two. The first batch of jumpers out of my flight were on their way looking good, but the winds went out limits, “RED LIGHT RED LIGHT NO JUMP!” so we held in flight. The winds went back under 15 knots, and the next two went out the door. Unfortunately, one broke an ankle on his less than ideal landing. We held in flight again while the ambulance removed him from the drop zone, and we were back on! My mental preparation waiting for my turn was to absolutely only think about the required steps I absolutely must perform. I was the final jumper for this load and was by myself. No rush, no worries, and I took extra time in the door for the perfect arch and departure position. The jump master wanted me to stare at her as I fall away and she would flash a number for me to focus on to tell her later as an insurance to have my head in the right spot. My body position was much better that jump, but my first failure came when I looked down. That simple movement of the head caused another flip. “****. ARCH!” The recovery arch position fixed me right up after only one flip. “Arch. Look. Pull. Check.” Second strike occurred as I was pulling the primary handle. My right leg went right and started a roll. This roll was only fixed by the force of opening shock. For the second time I was relieved with a perfectly controllable canopy for another pleasant ride down with some interesting things along the way. I thought for sure this was going to go to a commanders review for approval to a third jump. Then I thought about both my grandfather and uncle doing the same thing in their Navy and Army parachute training. “OH ****, jumper coming at me! Steer right!” Thank you to all the hours staring outside of a C17 window looking for other traffic, as I do it subconsciously. There had been a good five minute separation between me and the jumpers that went out before I did, so what the Hell is he doing level with me? Wait a minute, there’s another that’s far away, but she’s going up! Thermals and wing loading strike again proving for sure that all plans can change, and nothing is ever guaranteed.
Epilogue. Like I had prepared myself for coming down and walking in, I knew it would be another Q3 grade for the free fall portion. Two consecutive failures of the same type drove a commander’s review. For all the dangerous, sketchy, and risky things I’ve done in the past, it was required for my job. This wouldn’t be. The longest hour, in a very long time for me anyway, unfortunately determined dismissal from three more jumps to receive the rating and wings. I do not blame him because it was me and only me that was unable to free fall safely. A third roll on a third attempt could very well be my end. While I was sad driving home, I’m still happy I was able to partake two solo free falls that I will never forget.
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